• SO REALLY THE WHOLE NO ONE REALLY CARES ABOUT RUBY (in mukurovision) EXCEPT ME AND WRATH kind of rocked the boat a lot. IT ROCKED THE BOAT COS GAWD NOW I CAN'T TRUST ANY OF YOU and then it rocked the boat even more because Mukuro felt really stupid. Like he'd just opened himself up for some kind of attack blindly stupid. So that was a double blow to how he fit in with the world and he just decided to SHUT IT ALL DOWN. And then reboot basically with not trusting anyone except Wrath kind of. And he decided to be more Mukuro which also included keeping in mind some of Mukuro's goals. Andddd binged on memories.
SO HIS WHOLE HEADSPACE SORT OF DID A BACKFLIP AND FLOUNDERED ABOUT and then righted itself but now it's . . . kind of not quite right. He couldn't commit to being Mukuro but he feels weird about really being Acedia now too. But he's sort of smoothed it all over with a different mode of being! So who knows.
• THAT WAS TERRIBLE. But also what sort of made him realize how between ideal selves he was. And made him cranky. EXCEPT THEN HE IMMEDIATELY CONVINCED HIMSELF ALL THE 'PRACTICAL' REASONS WHY HE DIDN'T KILL LUKE :Db
But it basically made him feel miserable. Because he couldn't stick to anything. Because if he had he would have killed Luke. BECAUSE FEELING MORE NICE FEELINGS MEANS HE ALSO FEELS THOSE OTHER FEELINGS. Because it was a general failure . . .
• . . . doesn't like that at all. He also doesn't believe it though. KEEPIN' DELUSIONAL AW YEAH. But gained like 500% more likely to avoid Luke all the time.
• I DISLIKE TALKING ABOUT FEELINGS ALL THE TIME. Well, no, he doesn't mind the actual subject except Luke is all about being invasive and a dick and INVOLVED and YOUR FEELINGS and besides the fact that it's mentally stressing for Mukuro it's just. Exhaustive. He doesn't have the fortitude and Luke is persistent and he just wants it to stop :B
ALL AND ALL IT IS LIKE MUKURO'S NEUROTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER V LUKE hahahaha. But Luke adds tension to the mental juggling Mukuro does with all of his morals and immorals and selves and all that shit and it really puts stress on the scaffolding of his mind :B And he can feel himself buckle in different places.
OKAY AND SIDENOTES
pre-splosion Mukuro was taking the slow path to being less crazy, but it would have trundled along. IF THE RUBY IS A LIEE would have come out on that. . . depending on how far into it he was he would have a) ignored it and just continued to be delusional :'D or b) had an even bigger break.
HE ALSO IS SUPER SELF-AWARE OF HIS CRAZY. But half the time he is like oKAY RIDING THIS CRAZY IT IS WHO I AM ALL RIIIGHHHTTT!!!!!!! and the other half the time he has serious worries about it. Because he can sort of see into what he's missing in socialization -- but it's so frustrating! And he feels there isn't anything he can do about his crazy either. Also he kind of likes riding it, so he gives in a lot. But if he were in a better place in general he would probably be more worried and try to figure something out with that more. He might even ask for help if he gets to that point.
OH YEAH HE DIDN'T THINK ABOUT BANGING LUKE OR WHATEVER UNTIL THAT THREAD WITH ASCH AND THEN WAS LIKE :|aaa AND THEN THERE WAS THE STRAIGHTJACKET AND IT WAS LIKE :3c ... and he rather enjoyed it but will just ignore it and go on with jackassery because he is like 100% that doing things with Luke when he isn't tied up with result in stupid talking about feelings. So I guess +25 to wanting to put Luke in bondage for all the wrong reasons.
no subject
SO HIS WHOLE HEADSPACE SORT OF DID A BACKFLIP AND FLOUNDERED ABOUT and then righted itself but now it's . . . kind of not quite right. He couldn't commit to being Mukuro but he feels weird about really being Acedia now too. But he's sort of smoothed it all over with a different mode of being! So who knows.
• THAT WAS TERRIBLE. But also what sort of made him realize how between ideal selves he was. And made him cranky. EXCEPT THEN HE IMMEDIATELY CONVINCED HIMSELF ALL THE 'PRACTICAL' REASONS WHY HE DIDN'T KILL LUKE :Db
But it basically made him feel miserable. Because he couldn't stick to anything. Because if he had he would have killed Luke. BECAUSE FEELING MORE NICE FEELINGS MEANS HE ALSO FEELS THOSE OTHER FEELINGS. Because it was a general failure . . .
• . . . doesn't like that at all. He also doesn't believe it though. KEEPIN' DELUSIONAL AW YEAH. But gained like 500% more likely to avoid Luke all the time.
• I DISLIKE TALKING ABOUT FEELINGS ALL THE TIME. Well, no, he doesn't mind the actual subject except Luke is all about being invasive and a dick and INVOLVED and YOUR FEELINGS and besides the fact that it's mentally stressing for Mukuro it's just. Exhaustive. He doesn't have the fortitude and Luke is persistent and he just wants it to stop :B
ALL AND ALL IT IS LIKE MUKURO'S NEUROTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER V LUKE hahahaha. But Luke adds tension to the mental juggling Mukuro does with all of his morals and immorals and selves and all that shit and it really puts stress on the scaffolding of his mind :B And he can feel himself buckle in different places.
OKAY AND SIDENOTES
pre-splosion Mukuro was taking the slow path to being less crazy, but it would have trundled along. IF THE RUBY IS A LIEE would have come out on that. . . depending on how far into it he was he would have a) ignored it and just continued to be delusional :'D or b) had an even bigger break.
HE ALSO IS SUPER SELF-AWARE OF HIS CRAZY. But half the time he is like oKAY RIDING THIS CRAZY IT IS WHO I AM ALL RIIIGHHHTTT!!!!!!! and the other half the time he has serious worries about it. Because he can sort of see into what he's missing in socialization -- but it's so frustrating! And he feels there isn't anything he can do about his crazy either. Also he kind of likes riding it, so he gives in a lot. But if he were in a better place in general he would probably be more worried and try to figure something out with that more. He might even ask for help if he gets to that point.
OH YEAH HE DIDN'T THINK ABOUT BANGING LUKE OR WHATEVER UNTIL THAT THREAD WITH ASCH AND THEN WAS LIKE :|aaa AND THEN THERE WAS THE STRAIGHTJACKET AND IT WAS LIKE :3c ... and he rather enjoyed it but will just ignore it and go on with jackassery because he is like 100% that doing things with Luke when he isn't tied up with result in stupid talking about feelings. So I guess +25 to wanting to put Luke in bondage for all the wrong reasons.
DID YOU LIKE KISSING ME SUGATA :T