adharma | Because I keep plurking about it maybe if I write it down I will shut up!

idk idk rubysplosion idk i guess it is more of a tantrum :Db

I AM NOT REALLY SURE HOW TO PUT THIS BUT OH WELL. I am like 400% sure that the concept of group/team is superbly integral to Mukuro's existence. IT IS JUST HOW IT IS. But at the same time the group/team is sort of . . . he can't really detach the individual from it very well. I MEAN HE WORKS AT IT and there are things like he sees Hibari as Hibari and he can see Tsuna as Tsuna sort of. But the larger group overshadows this a lot too. VONGOLA TENTH!!1

But it's really more important in terms of his own self too. Kokuyou is Kokuyou is Kokuyou issssss himself really. The group is him is the group is him. Everyone in Kokuyou he can possess. He has absolute assurance they are with him. He doesn't really need to care if they like or dislike each other or if they "like" him. It's all about loyalty and just existence as Kokuyou. It is freakishly simple on one hand. Kokuyou is Kokuyou. But it's also fucking complex because it means different things for the individual to exist and not exist, whatever. He knows that for them it is the same as well. No one would ever leave Kokuyou, or be anything but Kokuyou. And if they did he could just possess them or whatever anyway. Absolute assurance \o/ He has constructed a world where everything is to what he expects and is comfy for him. It is kind of like cheating, I guess.

And then in Aather he just put this attitude on Ruby. And it sort of worked. I mean, he had room to be an asshole, everyone had room to do whatever, but he had absolute assurance in Ruby is Ruby. But then recently Luke was kind of blah blah Ruby isn't integral to identity and Konatsu mentioned team unity problems and then Oz flat out said "Being on Ruby doesn't matter." And that . . . was a pretty big blow to his team construction idea! He's been operating on the idea that Acedia can exist as Ruby because Ruby is Acedia's and whatev whatev. It is sort of a packaged deal. Outside of that there's really only the Mukuro in his memories. He is pretty divorced from that Mukuro -- or was, because Mukuro wouldn't have fit into Ruby!

WHAT DO IF RUBY ISN'T RUBY!?!?!? There is also the fact that he 'realized' that Ruby is only as Huge of a Deal as it is for probably him and Dera. Dera understands how important team is |(. It also means that Peridot then wouldn't be Ruby's???? And then how does team relations?? It is basically a giant rise in anxiety over how the world works \:D/ and how his self works. In Aather too, unlikely canon, the fact that people can leave their team -- they only had the one booking, but it was enough for him to recognize it -- has sort of just \o/ \o/;; what do people can leave.

Mukuro keeps a verrryy tight control over his world. Part of that is the illusionist thing. Knows everything really well in and out. Reality and not-reality and just where things are situated. And even if his world assumptions are wrong, he still has a very tight knit world. It helps him keep together too because he's a fucking nutjob. He's a sort of chaotic crazy that has goals and groups and other stuff that keep him in line. At least when he's in his largest peak of crazy.

HILARIOUSLY his desire to not be a nutjob is also fucking him up in Aather. He knows he's not holding it together really well so he's deciding to hold it together by going to the other self that he knows exists |Db MUKURO COULD HOLD HIS SHIT TOGETHER. I'LL DO THAT. It's like a security blanket of sociopathy. He considers being Mukuro a better option than being bugfuck :|a I guess. Even though Mukuro is kind of bugfuck whatev whatev he thinks Mukuro has his shit together.

One of the problems with this though is he can't . . . articulate it? THERE'S NO NEED TO? ALSO HOW WOULD YOU? "Ruby was Ruby" is probably as far as it conceptualizes for him. He's really bad at getting what he lost and expressing that too. It's why whatev whatev his childhood just made him angry and not sad. So explaining why he's going off to whatever in his head is just too difficult. So he'll just cut people out instead :Db

yes . . . tl;dr how does i team now, how does i self now, crankypantscrazypath

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One day Luke will explain that he actually really dislikes being thought of as 'Ruby' over 'Dawn' and Acedia will be even crankier.

NO I AM FIXING THAT. I AM ANTICIPATING SHIT LIKE THAT. WHICH IS WHY I AM FIXING IT! SEE ME FIXING MY EXPECTATIONS SO THIS SHIT WON'T HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!

I don't think "I JUST WON'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE AT ALL!!!" is really a solution to your tendency to give everything a collective identity

shut up i am brilliant

no honey

coping is hard

(no subject)

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ha ha, Peridot is better at being a concept than Ruby is, loser

but no I am stalking the whole rubysplosion and it is amazing and mukuro is amazing :'D I am just amused reading this essay at how well Beato can actually understand his concerns...

WHAT DO I DO BEATO! HOW DOES I FIX THIS!!1

/moves to peridot

You lecture everyone who disagrees with you on how Ruby is a transcendent concept more powerful than any mere collection of mortals could be, instead of just ignoring your feelings like a SURRENDERING WEAKLING, obviously

...or that.

. . . I see that I should just ask Beato for advice.

that would in fact be hilarious

SHE WOULD EVEN HATE YOU A LITTLE LESS!!

I am sure it can be arranged. Since clearly everyone on Ruby is going to be a loser about this.

LET'S JUST KEEP BLAMING EVERYTHING ON OZ

BUT KONATSU AND LUKE THINK THE SAME THING WHAT DO.

. . . I can't say passive agression with Dera . . .

lolz Dera still doesn't get everything Luke says all the time, but he's really open to anything Konatsu says by now so idk \o/

if you leave me too i'll kill you all so help me god!!!!!!!!!!!!

i mean, healthy coping healthy coping

I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU :U

. . . I just like this icon okay.

OKAY GOOD BECAUSE I HAVE DECIDED YOU ARE MY ONE WORLD ALLY. THERE IS A HILARIOUS SWITCH OF DEPENDENCY GOING ON HERE.

. . . it is an adorable icon.

muchlessmuchness - 2011-05-23 21:00 (UTC) - Expand

adharma - 2011-05-23 21:03 (UTC) - Expand

righthandsmoke - 2011-05-23 21:09 (UTC) - Expand

Misunderstanding of the century victory for Oz!!

you know you love me

"Victory" . . .

OH BOYS 8(

The hilarious thing about it all is that Konatsu just doesn't really remember yet that the Black Hawks function in a similarly fucked up way AYANAMI IS OUR MUKURO GOSH

LOLRUBY . . . . . .

:T remember faster