HILARIOUS...?? He's always sort of been stumbling but the fictional thing really just pulled the rug out from under him and. he's still falling. (I had intended for him to discover that later, but I failed to realize that ... like 70% of his memories mention it or heavily imply it. WHUPS!) He's really having difficulty getting his footing again and is pretty much grasping for anything that might keep him somewhat steady. HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIMSELF so he goes in circles, lashes out at others, hurts himself, gets depressed, shoves his feelings away, etc etc etc! His emotions and his views/perspective is a mess. He understands he needs intervention or help (and he's slowly starting to realize he's completely incompetent alone) but he doesn't understand the proper sort he needs so he's reaching out to people for quick-fix solutions. Riful is the most prominent of these solutions \:B/
One of the ways Drift tries to deal with his feelings is pain! He has so many negative feelings he feels are right and he's gone through the logic a thousand times and he honestly wants to vent them somewhere/to be punished for his perceived misdeeds (verbally or physically)/etc. A lot of this is contributed to by the fact that no one will walk him through his feelings (which totally makes sense as his feelings are kind of ridiculous to deal with, but) and instead just deny his feelings or tell him not to think that way. HE CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT and it just makes him more frustrated and at a loss, because not only does he feel horrible he's being told his feelings are wrong and imagined and he loses his footing on everything again, which just screws him up more. PAIN AND SELF-DEPRECATION ARE REALLY EASY SOLUTIONS and he can't fathom the harder ones so he keeps. going back to these things. And if he can for sure get a foothold on something easy to understand (like these two things) then he can start trying to refigure his perspective/etc to try and stabilize. some things.
RIFUL GIVES HIM THIS AND EXTRA. It's sort of an ongoing trainwreck so I can't give a super solid answer, but Riful went in and started rearranging things and forced her way inside him. And he's okay with this! Because not only is he flagellating him the way he wants she is offering herself as someone to center himself around, and as someone who will own him and never let him think again if he doesn't want to. He really, really likes the idea of being dominated and owned, especially since Riful stresses how much he's the ~only one~ and all that. This doesn't address any of his issues or fix anything! But it gives him a place to anchor himself and thus return to if there's something he can't handle, whether it be someone/thing else or himself.
Bbbbut. Drift also knows he "needs" this. Which means that, since it's in his grasp, he is going to keep it no matter what. So, to an extent, while Riful has full ownership of Drift, he is also using her to satisfy himself. He thinks it's a fair payoff, especially since he's already promised to give all of himself to Riful (partly because she owns him and he thinks it's right, and partly out of compensation for him using her). What's more, Riful identifying herself with Alice both distanced him from her (hence why he doesn't feel guilty in the slightest despite Riful's rather honest proclamations of love) and also made him more willing to brutalize him. HE WILL LIE AND BEND THE TRUTH ALL HE NEEDS TO IF HE CAN KEEP THEIR RELATIONSHIP LIKE THIS it satisfies him in so many ways.
OH and I almost forgot! Because he ~belongs to Riful~ and she promised to kill him and eat him properly, he's also become less ... inclined to get himself offed or killed? Or indulge in masochism during games. However, feelings-wise he still wants to die/disappear (which is why he is okay with Riful's proposition to begin with) and he's not monogamous to one sadist, though Riful's level of pain (+his simultaneous psychological breakdown during each thread) is pretty extreme so he's sort of been spoiled by her :B
tl;dr UNSTABLE, but doing better now that he has someone to focus himself on. So trading in instability points for unhealthy points I guess :|aaa
Does Acedia have any CR that's bad/unhealthy for him rn . . .
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One of the ways Drift tries to deal with his feelings is pain! He has so many negative feelings he feels are right and he's gone through the logic a thousand times and he honestly wants to vent them somewhere/to be punished for his perceived misdeeds (verbally or physically)/etc. A lot of this is contributed to by the fact that no one will walk him through his feelings (which totally makes sense as his feelings are kind of ridiculous to deal with, but) and instead just deny his feelings or tell him not to think that way. HE CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT and it just makes him more frustrated and at a loss, because not only does he feel horrible he's being told his feelings are wrong and imagined and he loses his footing on everything again, which just screws him up more. PAIN AND SELF-DEPRECATION ARE REALLY EASY SOLUTIONS and he can't fathom the harder ones so he keeps. going back to these things. And if he can for sure get a foothold on something easy to understand (like these two things) then he can start trying to refigure his perspective/etc to try and stabilize. some things.
RIFUL GIVES HIM THIS AND EXTRA. It's sort of an ongoing trainwreck so I can't give a super solid answer, but Riful went in and started rearranging things and forced her way inside him. And he's okay with this! Because not only is he flagellating him the way he wants she is offering herself as someone to center himself around, and as someone who will own him and never let him think again if he doesn't want to. He really, really likes the idea of being dominated and owned, especially since Riful stresses how much he's the ~only one~ and all that. This doesn't address any of his issues or fix anything! But it gives him a place to anchor himself and thus return to if there's something he can't handle, whether it be someone/thing else or himself.
Bbbbut. Drift also knows he "needs" this. Which means that, since it's in his grasp, he is going to keep it no matter what. So, to an extent, while Riful has full ownership of Drift, he is also using her to satisfy himself. He thinks it's a fair payoff, especially since he's already promised to give all of himself to Riful (partly because she owns him and he thinks it's right, and partly out of compensation for him using her). What's more, Riful identifying herself with Alice both distanced him from her (hence why he doesn't feel guilty in the slightest despite Riful's rather honest proclamations of love) and also made him more willing to brutalize him. HE WILL LIE AND BEND THE TRUTH ALL HE NEEDS TO IF HE CAN KEEP THEIR RELATIONSHIP LIKE THIS it satisfies him in so many ways.
OH and I almost forgot! Because he ~belongs to Riful~ and she promised to kill him and eat him properly, he's also become less ... inclined to get himself offed or killed? Or indulge in masochism during games. However, feelings-wise he still wants to die/disappear (which is why he is okay with Riful's proposition to begin with) and he's not monogamous to one sadist, though Riful's level of pain (+his simultaneous psychological breakdown during each thread) is pretty extreme so he's sort of been spoiled by her :B
tl;dr UNSTABLE, but doing better now that he has someone to focus himself on. So trading in instability points for unhealthy points I guess :|aaa
Does Acedia have any CR that's bad/unhealthy for him rn . . .